A Few Precious Minutes Of The Scheduled Arrival Of The International Icon Known Only As Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing

OOC Hello! If you can add this to the show today, I will appreciate it!


A crowd has already gathered at the parking lot of the big-budget upstart promotion known as World Domination Wrestling. We see the building has giant banners of its first Dominator, the Morbidly Obese Man, proudly wearing his championship belt. Every pore, blemish and sweaty square inch of the Morbidly Obese Man's outsized mortal shell is magnified for people of all ages to see.


Reporter: "I cannot unsee that."


There is a large number of journalists present, making reports on this historic supershow being put together by the Brain, the General Manager of WDW. But the excitement that is in the air gets amped up a few notches when a gold SUV drives onto the property.


Reporter: "It's him. It's him!"


Various members of the media quickly gather around the SUV. Cameras take pictures as a masked man steps out from the vehicle.


He has a championship belt over his shoulder. The belt's plate is a shiny silver, with GONK prominently featured dead center. However, the straps seem to be attached to the title plate with duct tape.


Carrying it is the man many have come to see. His mere presence makes men swoon, and makes boys reach puberty instantly. He is none other than the heroic hero of the wrestling ring, the man they call Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Q: "Hello, members of the world's media!"


Despite their experience, a few of the experienced reporters nearly succumb from a spontaneous orgasm as they hear his greeting.


Q: "Today I stand before you as the GONK Champion of the NPW! I am the first man to carry the NPW's most prized possession! And tonight, I fight as GONK Champion for the very first time! Against the champion of the World Domination Wrestling!"


Fans begin gathering around. Many cheer and squeal at Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's announcement.


Reporter: "Will it be a unification match?"


Q: "I do not think so! It will be a battle for pride and honor! But I go into this match fully prepared to show the NPW and to the whole world why I am the GONK Champion!"


Reporter 2: "What will be your strategy against the Morbidly Obese Man?"


Q: "I am afraid I cannot tell you! But I will show you and the whole world how I fare against the best the World Domination Wrestling has to offer!"


Reporter 3: "Any updates on the pay problems you're having with Narf Poit?"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points to the title belt in his possession.


Q: "The GONK title is now my property! So now I can whatever I see fit with it! And this means I am still offering this belt up to the highest bidder so I can receive the compensation I deserve! But now I must get ready for my match! I thank you all for your time!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing approaches the building. He shivers involuntarily when he sees the giant billboard of the Morbidly Obese Man.